Jax #mixedmonday

Hi im Jax, a 52 year old mother of a teenager and young adult, Phoebe and Aaron. I live between East London and Bridport in Dorset with my husband Julian of 26 years and our miniature schnauzer Otis. I'm the eldest of 4, born of my mum Ann from Belfast and my dad Ricky from Guyana.

We were born in Leytonstone in East London, My dad had moved there to get away from his family so this meant we were cut off from all of our Guyanese heritage. My dad struggled with his mental health so had no capacity to support us in this understanding.

School and home were predominantly white my childhood experiences were mostly of 'otherness' the ones that stay with me are always being asked whose child I was when I entered a shop with my mother as I looked nothing like her, my mum had difficulty with my hair (as it has always been quite a dense afro) the girls at school commenting on what a mess it was, being one of only 2 mixed heritage girls in both primary and secondary school.

Has your mixed-ness influenced your career in any way?

My work which was in the city started as Recruitment Consultant and eventually running a recruitment business also fed my desire to be white, I am able to look back and see how I used my brown skin to my advantage as my difference managed to get me lots of business, ignoring the numerous microaggressions along the way.

I know that until my first child was born I had subconsciously tried to be as white as possible, internalising the idea that there was something 'wrong' with my blackness. Something is wrong with me.
As you can imagine, the avoidance of myself took its toll and in 2012 I had a 'breakdown' and dramatically fell out of work and ended up in bed for 3 months.

When I emerged, I began my training to become a Counsellor and have been on a journey of self discovery ever since, one of the biggest pieces of work has been to get acquainted with my internalised racism and fully embrace/celebrate my blackness.

I have since added the titles of Breathwork Therapist/ Circle Holder/ Coach and Ecstatic Dance Facilitator to the roles I perform, ultimately I have made my life's work supporting people to know what it is to BELONG.

I run a CIC called @theserenitypractice for this work, from which i am taking a sabbatical and in 2022 I co-founded @ourblendedroots with my soul sister Tanya Forgan - where we create spaces for ritual, rest and healing for the mixed heritage community. This work has become so important to me, the power of sitting in circle with those of blended roots continues to be a powerful tonic, enabling me to continually deepen into the gift that walking the earth in a brown skinned body brings.

If you could describe your mixed identity in one word, what would it be?

Chameleon.

What is the best thing about being mixed heritage?

The best thing about being of mixed heritage is a seemingly innate ability to walk the middle road, to embody and have deep appreciation in two or more cultures and to see myself in all that is.